Today I am angry. Why? Don't ask! Truth is, I really haven't got a clue. My wife and kids are getting on my nerves (no not Damon Wayans). They haven't done anything wrong, nor have they done anything any different to any other day. I'm just feeling angry. I guess you could say that it's my time of the month to be grouchy - the rest of the time is reserved for the wife! Don't get me wrong, I love her dearly, and she's a good person but sometimes I do feel like making her to drive to the top of Amersham Hill and severing her brakes! No of course I wouldn't do that. But she is a bitch! Self proclaimed too. To protect her identity (and my testicles) I shall refer to her only as N. That makes her sound all mysterious (well she's a bloody mystery to me), like a character from James Bond, which will please her as she's a fan.
I'm currently hiding away in our room, hiding from her friends. They seem to appear from nowhere, like those young guys in suits with the Jesus badges. I think that's what has pissed me off the most. You don't see or hear anything from these people for what seems like an age, then without warning, like a fart during a shag, they 'slip out' and ruin your plans, but you're expected to keep going even though they suck up all the oxygen in the room and make you want to gag!
Okay maybe I'm exaggerating a little - I'm married, I don't shag any more! That's just a distant dream!
I've only got a few hours until work and all I wanted was to chill out before I had to leave, instead I'm now being enticed away from my sulking and I'm now straining to eavesdrop on what they are saying, trying to get an insight in what women really talk about when they are together. But I get nothing except, "No, he didn't?", "She should know that you don't wear red and pink when you're a GINGER" and "Yes I would love to try lesbian sex with you!" Okay I lied about that last one. Come to think of it I don't feel angry any more either. Now where did I put those tissues?
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